Commitment is something that seems to scare away most of the men nowadays, and it is hard for us, women, to understand why. Nevertheless, trying to get to the bottom of this issue they have with commitment can make relationships work a whole lot better.
It is a fact that women have expectations in their relationships. But, it is the same in the case of men. The problem is that the expectations are totally different from one case to another, and, as long you understand and accept that, you will see that things are simpler than you thought.
While women need tenderness, protection, affection, proof that they are the most precious and valuable thing in the lives of their beloved, there is basically only one thing men need: freedom. And freedom is exactly what they are afraid they will lose if they commit to a serious relationship with a woman.
This freedom can go several ways. We can talk about the freedom of being able to do the things he loves doing, which most of the times may seem childish to you, such as playing with the boys on the Playstation, hanging out with them or organizing a football game watch in your living room.
If you put yourself in his shoes, you will realize that your need to go shopping every Friday with the girls, to have a manicure or a new haircut or your Saturday latte with your best friend may seem as meaningless to him as his activities seem to you.
The first thing that you must start tolerating is that men and women are different and they want different things from life. As long as you understand and respect that and you show him that you need time for your favorite activities too, he will admire you more and start seeing a possible life partner in you, rather than a threat to his freedom.
Another aspect to a man’s freedom also rejects the idea of “having to do” certain things. Commitment sounds to them like organizing and they usually hate anyone’s attempt at organizing their life. The less you talk about the things that men are supposed to do in a relationship and about the things that you expect him to do, the more chance you have of keeping him for a longer period of time at your side.
Last, but not least, freedom is about diversity. Being committed to a single woman for the rest of their lives can be a scary prospect for many men, and yes, your task will be a difficult one, but women can be imaginative and you will surely find ways to keep his interest alive and bring variety into your relationship as often as you can or, better still, whenever it’s required. Sometimes, maybe a small argument can do the trick, because, then, he must fight to get your attention again and the game will certainly please his hunter instincts.
No matter what the reasons are, it is a fact: men will always be afraid of commitment, but that doesn’t mean that they will not be willing to go through with it as soon as they realize they found right person. Understanding their needs and respecting them, can get you one step closer to the desired happy ending.
For a woman, finding out why men are afraid to commit takes testing – not all men are afraid of it for the same reasons. Many men aren’t afraid to commit, per se – they just think they’ll lose something important to them along the way. That something is most often a facet of the freedom that they’ve hitherto enjoyed. If you can talk commitment while instilling in them that they won’t lose that freedom, then you are half way there.