I think my fiancé is backing out, what can I do? This is a question that comes up from time to time when a woman is in a relationship with a man who was in love and excited enough about marriage to propose, and then gave some signs that he may be having second thoughts. If you think your fiancé is trying to back out of the wedding, you should definitely talk to him about it. If you have a wedding date set and he wants to back out of the wedding, you are going to find out at some point, but it would be better to find out sooner rather than later.
Sometimes a man will tell you that he is having second thoughts about getting married. Of course it can be painful to hear that, but it is better if he is honest and upfront about it. It may not be something that you want to hear but it’s better than waiting until the wedding day when lots of money has been spent and arrangements have been made, and then he decides he can’t go through with the wedding.
So what can you do about it if you think your fiancé is backing out? A lot of women want to know what they can do about it if there fiancé is getting cold feet. The only thing you can really do is try to talk to him about it. There’s not much you can do other than open the lines of communication. The person who proposed to you should not have to be convinced that marrying you was the right thing to do. They should marry you because they want to. If they are getting cold feet however, you need to talk about it.
Ask him why he is having second thoughts. If he answers your questions, you may be able to work things out. A lot of men are afraid of commitment because they think that too many things in their life will change. If your fiancé is worried that he won’t be able to spend time with his buddies and do the things he likes to do, you can assure him that you will not stop him from doing those things. You could encourage him to spend time with his friends and pursue his own interests. If he was afraid that he would lose his freedom but you encourage him to do the things he likes to do, you will be able to eliminate that fear.
Of course communication is not always so easy. It takes two willing parties to be able to communicate effectively. You can try to be as calm and understanding as possible, but he may still resist talking about marriage or setting a date. If you try to bring up the subject and he starts a fight with you or gets irritated every time you want to talk about it, it will be a lot more difficult to communicate effectively. For a lot of couples that are considering marriage, counseling is a wonderful option.
Getting marriage counseling is not going to guarantee that your fiancé will not back out of the wedding, but it does create an environment where the two of you can communicate. The counselor will help both of you express your feelings and suggest ways to deal with them. The counselor will make sure that the communication remains amicable and does not degrade into an argument.
Communication is key. If you can’t communicate on your own and counseling is not working, then your relationship will not be able to continue. But it is definitely better to find out that type of issue before you get married. Communication can either help you repair your relationship so that the two of you can get married and be happy together, or it can prevent you from making a big mistake that will cause even bigger problems down the road.