Archive | October 2012

My Fiancé Is Holding Back on Our Wedding Date!

My fiancé is holding back on our wedding date, what should I do?

This is a question that I see all the time. Sometimes a couple has talked about marriage but the man never proposes. Sometimes a couple gets engaged but they never set an actual wedding date. Other times, a date is set and then it gets pushed back or rescheduled for some reason.

Why Won’t He Set A Wedding Date – Fiancé Excuses?

If you are engaged and you have set a wedding date but your fiancé has pushed the date back multiple times, it can certainly be frustrating. However, many times there are legitimate reasons for holding back on the wedding date. Maybe you were counting on certain family members to help with expenses and they are not willing to help out as much as you had hoped. Maybe he lost his job, perhaps there is an illness in the family, maybe he just doesn’t want to go into debt and would prefer to save a little more money first. These are all legitimate reasons for postponing the wedding.

Don’t Pester Him!

If your fiancé has canceled a wedding date but does not want to talk about rescheduling and gets annoyed every time you bring up the subject, that could be a sign that there is a problem. If you have only brought up the subject a couple of times but he tells you that it’s all you ever talk about, or if it seems like he would rather pick a fight than talk about your wedding, it may be a sign that he doesn’t really want to get married.

Communicate Calmly About Marriage

There are also a lot of times where the two of you have not even set a date yet and it is impossible to get him to talk about it. If you are in a relationship with someone you have to be able to communicate. It’s important that you remain calm and try not to get emotional when you are talking about setting a wedding date. You may be frustrated if you have been waiting for a long time but if you come at him with frustrated energy, he is going to get defensive and you will not be communicating, you will be fighting. Of course even if you are able to remain calm and collected, it takes two to communicate effectively. If he wants to pick a fight any time you want to talk about setting a date for your wedding, it may be time to think about making a difficult decision.

Same Old Excuses For Delaying The Wedding?

Sometimes a man may have legitimate reasons for holding back on a wedding date but eventually it may begin to sound like one excuse after another. Some men are happy with their relationship the way it is and they don’t want it to change. He may be perfectly content to just keep dating you the way he has been up until this point. If you are living together, he may not see any reason to get married. At some point, if you want to get married and he won’t set a date and stick to it, you are going to have to do something about it.

It’s usually a bad idea to give a man an ultimatum when it comes to getting married. Telling a man “you better do this, or else” will often make him angry and push him away. It can also be a source of resentment later on if you get married and things end up not going so well at some point. However, you may eventually have to make a decision about whether you are going to stay in a relationship that may never get where you want it to, or if you are willing to end the relationship and find someone who does want to get married.

Long Engagements Are OK

There’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship for five years without getting married, if that is something that you want to do. At the same time, if the two of you talk about marriage early in the relationship and he knows that your goal is to get married and start a family, he has to realize that you are not willing to wait around forever.

The Top Five Best Marriage Proposal Videos

Here’s a rundown of the Top Five Best Marriage Proposal videos that I could find while trawling through Youtube. I hope you enjoy them!

1) This guy creates a Movie Trailer as his proposal - Awesome work! Go and see more about this couple at mattandginny.com

2) She Said Yes! – Isaac Lamb’s Live Lip-Dub Proposal

3) Flash Mob Marriage Proposal – A sudden crowd of Michael Jackson dancers and a marching band set up the proposal here – This is pretty impressive and nicely choreographed!

4) This is a bit freaky at first – the girl doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

5) This one is just plain weird…at first… but it’s a nice quirky movie that the guy makes to propose to his girl.

Bonus Number 6) This is just plain crazy – glad she saw the funny side :)

Don’t forget to ‘like’ and ‘share’ this if you liked the post! Hit the buttons at the top of the post.

How to Get Him to Settle Down Without Nagging Him!

Some Advice for Getting Your Relationship to the Next Level

 

Men with commitment issues are so common that it has almost become a cliché. Not all men have a fear of commitment but if you are wondering how to get him to settle down, your man probably has an issue with the “C” word. If you are in a relationship with a man that doesn’t seem to want the relationship to progress any further and is happy to maintain the status quo, you will find some tips on this page that may help him change his mind.

Accept Your Differences

It’s wonderful when a couple wants to do everything together but people are individuals and individuals have their own interests, hobbies, and desires. Accept your differences and let your man pursue his other interests. It’s okay to spend a little time apart now and then because it will give each of you the time to pursue your own interests and each of you will be happier.

If he doesn’t like to go shopping, don’t force him to spend the entire day at the mall with you. If you don’t like to watch football, he probably won’t be upset if you let him watch the game with his friends while you do something you would like to do. Accept your differences and both of you will be happier. If he is happier in the relationship, there is a good chance that he will be ready to settle down sooner rather than later.

Spend a Little Time Apart Once in a While

The previous tip was about allowing your man to pursue his interests while giving yourself permission to pursue your own. One of the benefits of this is that spending a little time apart will actually make him want to be with you more. If the two of you spend every moment together, there is a chance that he may be taking you for granted. Spend a little time apart, and the time you do spend together will be even better.

Trust Him and Respect His Privacy

Some women get very jealous of their men and they become almost like a private eye. They sneak around, checking his e-mails, going through his phone to look at old text messages or see who’s in his contacts list. If you have a legitimate reason to suspect your man of cheating then you should try to find out the truth. However, if he has done nothing to raise your suspicions and you are still investigating him, it could be very damaging to the relationship if he finds out. Once he realizes that you are spying on him he will also realize that you do not trust him and that could certainly push him away and make him have second thoughts about taking your relationship to the next phase.

Communication Is Key

If you want to get your man to settle down and possibly even propose to you, you need to be able to communicate with him. If you have been dating for a few years and you are waiting for him to ask you to marry him, you could try to implement all of the tips above but at some point you may have to take a more direct approach.

If you decide to talk to him about your future together, do so in a nonthreatening, non-judgmental way. You don’t want to be confrontational and you don’t want to sound like you are nagging him. You could make very subtle comments and suggestions about the two of you having a future together and see how he reacts. You may also decide to come right out and tell him that you would like to see your relationship progress to the next level.

If you start talking about the future with a man that has a fear of commitment, he may begin to pull away a little bit. Don’t be alarmed if this happens, simply give him the space he needs to figure things out. If he is in love with you, once he has had time to assess his feelings he will be back in your arms and ready to settle down.

Other resources:

http://voices.yahoo.com/when-man-ready-settle-down-3244359.html

http://www.ehow.com/how_5758717_man-settle-down.html

Top 5 Reasons Why Men Pull Away

Maybe you have gone out on a few dates with a man and then suddenly he stopped returning your calls. Perhaps you have been dating a man for a few months and things seemed to be going well and then he begins to seem more distant. When a man begins to pull away from a relationship it can be confusing and frustrating for a woman. It can often leave the woman wondering what is wrong with her or what she did to drive him away.

Why do they sometimes pull away?

Gaaah! My boyfriend just told the world he’s breaking up with me, on Facebook…
Photo by Ed Yourdon – Flickr.com CC-BY-SA Creative Commons

There are times when something you did or did not do may have hurt the relationship but there are also plenty of times when a man pulls away due to his own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. To help shed some light on the subject of why men do the things they do, we put together a list of the top 5 reasons why men pull away.

1. All He Wanted Was Sex

This is a reason why men pull away that happens early in a relationship. Some men are not interested in pursuing a serious relationship and all they want to do is have sex with an attractive woman. A lot of guys are interested in the thrill of the hunt rather than the happiness of a fulfilling and committed relationship.

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About

There are two possible scenarios here. One is that he was only interested in sex and you had sex with him very early in the relationship. He got what he wanted and moved on. The other possibility is that you would not have sex with him and when he finally realized it wasn’t going to happen, he moved on.

The solution to this problem is to not have sex with a man too early in the relationship. If all he is interested in is having sex and you don’t give it to him, he will move on but this is not the type of man you want to be with anyway.

2. He Is Not Ready for a Serious Relationship

Not all men are predators that are on the prowl for a sexual conquest. There are plenty of men that are looking for a woman to settle down with and start a family. There are also a number of men who are interested in dating and spending time with multiple women but they are not ready to settle into a serious relationship just yet.

If you are dating a man who is not ready for a serious relationship, but he starts getting signals that you want to take the relationship to the next level, this could be something that would cause him to pull away.

 Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About

3. Fear – Fear of Commitment and Fear of Failure

Some men may think they are interested in pursuing a serious relationship but when things do start to get serious they get very anxious and may begin to pull away. One reason for this is because although a lot of men want to be in a relationship with a woman, most men don’t want to feel like they are losing their freedom or losing their sense of self.

When a relationship starts to get serious a lot of men think that they may not be able to spend time with their friends or continue doing the things they used to enjoy doing before they were in a relationship. They may also be worried that their identity is disappearing and being replaced with a new identity of being a couple.

Some men are also afraid of a relationship failing. It may not make much sense but if a man has been hurt before in the past, he may actually sabotage a relationship so that he can end it on his terms rather than suffering the pain of falling in love and being dumped again.

4. Something Has Changed in the Relationship

A man may begin to pull away if something in the relationship has changed. If things between the two of you are not the same as they were in the beginning, he will lose interest. This sometimes happens when a woman acted a certain way in the beginning of the relationship when she was trying to attract a man but then her true personality comes out later. If he feels like he doesn’t recognize the woman he is with, he will lose interest. Of course, the blame is not always on the woman. Sometimes people just grow apart for whatever reason but when things change some men will feel like it’s time to move on.

5. He Needs Time to Figure Things out

Many times when a man is falling in love and developing serious feelings for the woman he is with he has a difficult time understanding and dealing with his own feelings. Sometimes a man will begin to pull away because he needs a little time and space to figure things out. If you give him the space he needs, it won’t be long before he is chasing after you once again.

 Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About

Resources:

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/3-reasons-men-leave-women-they-love/

http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-a-Man-Interested