Archive | August 2012

My Younger Boyfriend Keeps Putting Off Marriage

My younger boyfriend knows I want to get married but he keeps putting it off. There was a time not long ago when he was keen to get married. We were saving up for the big day and both of our parents were going to help out with the finances. Everybody seemed happy so we announced our engagement after a magical proposal on a beautiful sunset beach in India. Getting my boyfriend to propose was not something that I even struggled with back then – he just seemed ready and did it, naturally, off his own back – there was no cajoling or nagging him from me.

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

The trouble is – that was four years ago and it’s become a bit of a running joke about when are we going to actually get hitched. I’m getting fed up and frustrated with all of my girlfriends sniping and starting to egg me into believing that he will never marry me now. It’s also kind of embarrassing with my family (and his, I think) that the engagement seems to have come to nothing thus far.

I don’t know why but he nearly always shies away from the conversation, even when I explain that we have the finances in place and everything seems ready – so I don’t think it’s the finances that are bothering him. He says he loves me and still wants to get married but he’s really loathe to commit to a date and gets annoyed now when I bring the subject up.

I’m not sure but I think he’s scared of the whole commitment thing. Arguments have been occurring lately when he’s wanted to stay at the pub all day and evening because there’s some soccer match or something that he wants to watch. I mean, come on, that’s a 90 minute game the last time I looked. I’m sure there is something more to this and I’m scared that we’re drifting apart. Or, at least, he’s drifting apart from me. I still love him dearly but I can’t get over the feeling that he doesn’t feel the same way anymore.

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

A large part of the problem, I’m sure, is that none of his friends are married – and he’s four years younger than me. The age mismatch means that most of my friends are settled with kids and all of his are still living the party dream. This definitely affects him in some way because he’s become negative about going out with my friends now. They usually only want to go out for a meal because they can only have the babysitter for so long and so it’s usually a meal out and a pretty early night home. He’s forthright recently in telling me that he finds them and that lifestyle boring. It didn’t seem to be a problem in the beginning – I suppose it never is when you are keen and falling in love with somebody – people will go through all sorts when they are in that situation and it never seems to be a problem. Now, it seems that the idea of committing and settling down with kids is starting to get to him.

I’ve tried explaining to him that marriage would not mean the end of his life as he knows it now. I’m pretty lenient with him and let him go out pretty much when he pleases but he has started saying that he’ll be under the thumb as soon as the ring is on my finger. I know that if I want to keep him that I’ll have to convince him that I want him the way he is. I respect his freedom and individuality – secretly, however, I feel that even now I am becoming a nag and a bore to him as we both seem to want different things. Or, at least, I want them sooner than he does.

So, I’m in a bit of a quandary, really. Do I wait it out – possibly for a long time – possibly for nothing, while my friends move on with their happy little families? Or do I start thinking about leaving him for somebody with a more mature outlook than his. Somebody who is ready to settle down and do all the things with me that I dreamed marriage would be about? If my boyfriend continues putting off marriage, I’m afraid that I’ll be forced to move on – yet, my heart keeps insisting that I love him and he’s still the right man for me.

My good friend Jessica at Get Married Tips asked me to spell out my marriage woes here on her new blog. She hopes that her good readers will be able to share their similar stories and perhaps offer some insights into their own situations, what they did about it and what the eventual outcomes were. She’ll take me aside and offer me her own good advice over a glass of vino – but we thought we’d reach out for any ideas, that you might be willing to share first. It will give us something to munch and brood over and may offer fresh insight into my experience or a new approach or angle to explore that both of us may have overlooked. I really look forward to your comments.

My name will remain anonymous to protect the [innocent].

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

 

 

How To Get My Boyfriend To Propose In 3 Easy Steps

I’m always getting this question from ladies desperate to get that ring on their finger. How do I get my boyfriend to propose to me?

How To Get My Boyfriend To Propose To Me In Three Easy Steps

The first thing that I usually tell them is that they are probably trying too hard. Guys can be gently nudged and cajoled but they cannot be forced into a marriage if they’re simply not ready for it. Indeed, if you approach things the wrong way and get over pushy – he’s likely to disappear for good!

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

One of the first things that you need to do is stop the incessant talk about engagement and how so and so is so happy now that she’s got engaged. He doesn’t really want to hear it and drumming it into him day after day will wear him down to the point of snappiness.

Getting married is the easy part – but getting him to propose marriage in the first place is tricky. There are a multitude of reasons why he might not want to get married right now, including the obvious ones. He doesn’t want to lose his freedom. He can’t afford it. Or there’s the career driven guy who wants to concentrate on that first before he settles down and has kids.

Getting Married Is Easy. Getting your boyfriend to propose is the difficult part

Still Waiting For That Proposal?

Don’t panic. It’s most often not that he doesn’t want to marry you. It’s just that he doesn’t want to marry you right now. So what can you do to speed up his internal marriage clock and get him to pop the question that bit quicker? Like I mentioned before, you need to employ subtle psychological tactics and actually let him feel that you’ve dropped the subject. Make damned sure that your friends, your mother and father and other members of your family are likewise not pressurizing him on the subject. Indeed, if this ever happens publicly ask them to lay off. If he feels like you’re on his side in this matter then he’s going to be much more likely to consider the question on its own merits than if you’re all ganging up on him.

 

 

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

If he’s worried about money – then you need to assure him that you’re not going to be constantly burning his wallet. Don’t keep insisting on how you want the perfect white wedding with the fancy car, the most expensive wedding dress at the swankiest place in town. Not only for wedding talk but for all aspects of your life you need to show him that you can get by without him spending money on you all the time.

What about that other scenario where, wait for it…he secretly feels that he needs to hang around for longer because he’s not sure that you are definitely the one for him? If you’re not treating him right and showing him that you are the catch of the century, he’ll definitely have this on the back of his mind. Yes, it’s true. Deal with it. It doesn’t matter how much he seems to be in love with you, men have something built into their DNA that predetermines them to always be on the lookout for something better.

Discover 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man To Propose That 95 Percent Of Women Don’t Know About - CLICK HERE

Now, again, I don’t want you to panic. This is all hypothetical, right? Well you can’t assume that he dedicates his devotion to you 100% all the time. You need to always strive to be attractive to him and subtly make him realize that there’s nobody better for him out there.

He will have fears about marriage and that may be why you are now asking the question about how to get your boyfriend to propose to you. You need to find a way of allaying those fears without it seeming too obvious which direction you are leading him in.

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Get Married

It is a fact that, when it comes to marriage, women know every detail of what their wedding will look like, as they have been fantasizing about it ever since they were little girls. Whereas, for men, marriage is something that simply scares them.

We live in strange times, when marriage tends to become more and more elusive. You hear about people breaking up every day and you may think twice before deciding to get married. That goes especially so for men.

Finding Out Why My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married

If you have been waiting for your boyfriend to ask you to marry him and he has just told you that marriage is not in his plans, don’t panic! It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you; it only means that he is afraid, afraid of commitment. All you need to do is to give him some time, show him the understanding that he needs and let him feel the need to make you happy with the magical question.

You have to understand that there are several reasons why commitment is so scary for men. Sharing his life with you means less space for him. And by space I mean both physical and psychological space. Let’s talk about the physical space.

Men are known to be very protective with their territory, so, if you move in with your boyfriend, he will feel really strange about the changes you will certainly want to make in his apartment and the apartment will feel less like his old pad that he felt at home in.

Men are uncomfortable with changes. If someone takes them out of the routine they have been feeling fine with, they feel their freedom threatened and this is the first thing that makes them step back and not want to go there.

Then, there is the psychological space. Men will always find fun in activities that might seem childish to you, but that make him happy, so let him do the things he loves doing. Show him that you understand his need of space and that you need your space too, and do not nag him every time he goes out with his buddies and comes home late.

If you succeed in making this happen, he might reconsider his selfish plans of never getting married, because he will see in you a source of comfort and joy, rather than a threat to his hobbies and life as he knew it before you.

And last but not least, men hate pressure. So, it is highly important that you do not stress him with questions, ask him for explanations or talk about an issue over and over again. Not only will he not open up, because getting emotional is emasculating for men, but you will make things worse, because he will take this step as something he is expected to do and not something associated with his desires.

So, there is one thing left to do. Be patient, show him the understanding he needs to see and make him feel relaxed around you, make him look forward to seeing you. Make him feel a man and he will change his mind soon!