Archive | June 2012

Why Are Men Afraid to Commit?

Commitment is something that seems to scare away most of the men nowadays, and it is hard for us, women, to understand why. Nevertheless, trying to get to the bottom of this issue they have with commitment can make relationships work a whole lot better.

It is a fact that women have expectations in their relationships. But, it is the same in the case of men. The problem is that the expectations are totally different from one case to another, and, as long you understand and accept that, you will see that things are simpler than you thought.

Why Are Some Men Afraid Of Committing to Marriage
Is He Afraid To Commit

While women need tenderness, protection, affection, proof that they are the most precious and valuable thing in the lives of their beloved, there is basically only one thing men need: freedom. And freedom is exactly what they are afraid they will lose if they commit to a serious relationship with a woman.

This freedom can go several ways. We can talk about the freedom of being able to do the things he loves doing, which most of the times may seem childish to you, such as playing with the boys on the Playstation, hanging out with them or organizing a football game watch in your living room.

If you put yourself in his shoes, you will realize that your need to go shopping every Friday with the girls, to have a manicure or a new haircut or your Saturday latte with your best friend may seem as meaningless to him as his activities seem to you.

The first thing that you must start tolerating is that men and women are different and they want different things from life. As long as you understand and respect that and you show him that you need time for your favorite activities too, he will admire you more and start seeing a possible life partner in you, rather than a threat to his freedom.

Another aspect to a man’s freedom also rejects the idea of “having to do” certain things. Commitment sounds to them like organizing and they usually hate anyone’s attempt at organizing their life. The less you talk about the things that men are supposed to do in a relationship and about the things that you expect him to do, the more chance you have of keeping him for a longer period of time at your side.

Last, but not least, freedom is about diversity. Being committed to a single woman for the rest of their lives can be a scary prospect for many men, and yes, your task will be a difficult one, but women can be imaginative and you will surely find ways to keep his interest alive and bring variety into your relationship as often as you can or, better still, whenever it’s required. Sometimes, maybe a small argument can do the trick, because, then, he must fight to get your attention again and the game will certainly please his hunter instincts.

No matter what the reasons are, it is a fact: men will always be afraid of commitment, but that doesn’t mean that they will not be willing to go through with it as soon as they realize they found right person. Understanding their needs and respecting them, can get you one step closer to the desired happy ending.

For a woman, finding out why men are afraid to commit takes testing – not all men are afraid of it for the same reasons. Many men aren’t afraid to commit, per se – they just think they’ll lose something important to them along the way. That something is most often a facet of the freedom that they’ve hitherto enjoyed. If you can talk commitment while instilling in them that they won’t lose that freedom, then you are half way there.

I Want to Get Married but He’s Not Interested

All women feel that it’s time to make the next step and take the relationship to a different level at a certain point. But, often, they discover that this is not exactly what their partners have in mind.

Relationships seem to be harder and harder to maintain these days and marriage scares more and more men off. Commitment is not something they are looking forward to, especially if you overwhelm them with pressure.

It is well known that women need more affection than men do, and also that they need to feel protected. All these emotions, added to their fantasies of being the perfect bride, next to the perfect groom, dancing in the perfect ballroom and wearing the perfect dress, makes women really emotional when it comes to marriage.

The prospect of having children and spending the rest of their lives besides a man they can trust and be proud of is something that comes naturally, when the relationship is going well.

Why Is He Not Interested In Getting Married?

Things are unfortunately different for men. And not because their feelings are not the same, but because society has led them to believe that marriage will be the end of a man’s freedom, that is of a happy and stress-free life, and the beginning of a life where there will no longer be an “I”, but only an “US”.

Well, this is where you need to start. Show him that being with you doesn’t mean that he has to give up his hobbies or habits, such as hanging out with his friends, playing football or his favorite computer games.

Give him the space he needs, do not overwhelm him with you and your needs, let him feel that you are not a threat to his freedom and to his life as he knew it. Of course, he will also need to understand that a successful relationship is about finding a balance between his time and your time as a couple.

But, if he sees that you respect your time for yourself and the things you want to do and at the same time you respect his need of spending his own quality time, he will feel more comfortable and relaxed. And that is certainly likely to make him consider marriage not so bad after all.

Nagging is what men hate the most. Then, they hate pressure and they hate too much emotional display. As long as you understand these basic concepts and accept them for what they are, things will be easier for you too and you might be closer than you think to being proposed.

Remember that your partner has to see you as a loving life partner, not as someone who is constantly nagging him about the things he does wrong and doesn’t do at all. He needs to feel appreciated just as much as you do and he needs to feel a man, so, do not underestimate his manliness and do not try to change his ways.

Do not pressure him with questions and do not overwhelm him with too much affection, give him time and let him feel ready for such an important step. All you need to do is to show him that you are worth every little sacrifice and you can make him happy.